One day, the time comes for you to send your baby off to a friend's house/computer to watch over it while you do something else. Though you love it, you need a break from it. You need someone else to tell you how simply marvelous it is, and how genuinely genius you are for creating such a masterpiece. Yes, you're nervous. It's your baby's first time out in the big world and you want to keep it safe from ALL harm. But deep down, you know the date night with your spouse/partner or that much needed, relaxing bath is far worth letting your baby go for an evening.
Then, something unexpected happens. That sitter you sent your baby off to? She wants you to take it back. She says there are too many problems with your baby, and she needs help understanding what it is saying, where it is going, and why-oh-why it keeps doing that terribly annoying, repetitive rhyme!
Your heart is broken.
Your feelings are blown to smithereens.
What now?
Okay, you pick yourself up, and trust that your friend's eyes are, indeed, fresh. They are seeing your baby from the outside, not from the inside where your heart and mind have made it into this God-like creation. So you read the comments. You listen to advice. You make the suggested changes. The problem?
YOU. HATE. IT.
This has happened to me with a manny of mine. No, it isn't my baby (thankfully), but I was given great advice this morning about it. Elizabeth Stevens Omlor told me this morning, "I think we should all just trust our guts, which is what I am learning to do more and more often."
How right is that??! Okay, yes, there are things that critiques help us with (in my case, MANY-a-things!!). But if you listen to ALL the advice you are given, if you change your manny completely around based on another's suggestions, and it honestly doesn't work for or feel right to you? I vote for your guts.
Here's my question to you:
In this day and age of writing, are we safe to trust our instincts?
I pray that we are. This blog is dedicated to the creative side of writing... Not the business angle. Yes, there are parameters to be met. But if in the end we are so wrapped up in the ways things should be written, there is little room for our hearts and souls to pour through our words. Be reasonable and listen to your critique partners. Listen to your agents, editors, and the trends. But, if it still doesn't sit well, again I say, I vote for your guts.
Yes, indeed. I, too, have changed a story so much after critiques that it no longer was my story. I have also changed (the same) story based on what I *thought* a critiquer was saying, only to have the same person say, "Doing this makes it lose what was special to it."
ReplyDeleteCritiques are necessary, and can help us make our manuscripts the best they can be, but at the end of the day, they are still OUR manuscripts and they need to ring true for US. If they don't, they won't ring true for anyone else, either.
Exactly! Thank you, Beth!
DeleteYes! Feedback and fresh eyes are critical to the development of a good story, but a writer or illustrator needs to balance that information with the vision they have of their work. If several readers have the same problem with my story, then that part needs a serious look see. Otherwise a critique is just an opinion, not a binding course of action. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI think if several readers have the same issue and you CANNOT bring yourself to change it, then you just aren't ready to be a writer yet. I totally agree with you, Heather!
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
Love this post! Last fall, I felt like one of my mannys had gone to the point of no return and wanted to trash it. Best thing I did was grab the orginal and waited a few days or weeks and started from square one- And it helped me remember where my heart was when I wrote it. Usually, that works for me. Although, I do have the best critique partners ever - I wouldn't be this edumacated without them. :)
ReplyDeleteEdumacated, indeed!! Haha
DeleteHeart is the one thing a person needs when writing. To forget where it was when you wrote a piece that has been critiqued to death, also means you'll lose any and all motivation to continue on with it.
Thanks, Jen!
I've heard manuscripts compared to babies, but not to this extent. Love the babysitter sending it back, not know what it's saying or where it's going. Hilarious! I agree with you, Bethany, and the commenters above. On my last PB MS, I received feedback that I should cut out the mom and dad characters. Crit'er thought they were unnecessary. I rewrote the story and hated it. The stakes were diminished. Switched it all back. And it sold. As you said, I’m glad I trusted my instincts.
ReplyDeleteWow!! So there's PROOF!! I shall listen to my instincts from now on!!
DeleteThank you, Lori, and congrats!!
Feedback is something I struggle with especially when I get conflicting feedback. I don't fully trust myself at least not yet. I'm working on becoming the writer I want to be versus the writer I think I should be because I think that once I'm comfortable with the writer within it will be much easier to trust my gut.
ReplyDeleteI think trusting myself is my biggest issue, too. But the truth is, you *know* what you want to write. Now the challenge you face is just... WRITING IT!
DeleteGrazie, Rena!
I think part of the challenge is that most of us are relatively new and are still learning to give constructive feedback. I struggle more with giving quality feedback than receiving it. I know how valuable good feedback can be; it gives you the opportunity to polish and improve your manuscript and spot critical errors before wasting a query to an agent or editor. Still, I often worry that I'm not providing exactly what the writer needs.
DeleteHi Kirsten. I struggle too with giving feedback since I feel I still have lots to learn.I know all the feedback you ever gave me I used (if not on that particular ms but towards others) You give excellent advice. Keep up the good work.
DeleteWhen my critique friends work on my stories with me, I never take any notes or write anything down. If the things they say resonate, I'll remember them if not, poof - they're gone. I trust my gut AND my memory (now THAT can get dangerous!). Truth be told I do bring home their written comments, but don't look at them till I've made all the changes I liked. I vote gut!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ms. Stilborn. Too much critiques = bad. If you don't think the person editing your story is helping you at all, just being mean, etc., just ignore it. If they are trying to be helpful, open up and think about what they said.
ReplyDeleteErik
Bethany, you are too funny! Thanks for including me in your post. I think you inspired in me what you say I inspired in you. Huh? Well, it makes sense to me! =) By the way, just made some changes to LITTLE NED that you recommended, that resonated with my gut. They made the story much stronger and tighter. THANK YOU! Great post.
ReplyDelete